Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Twerkshopz in the Bubble Realm !! PLUS CP's Totally Unsolicited Thoughts on Dance Floor Etiquette

(postin' early since my week is cray cray town...)

So whateves,  I know I just updated my Crystal Precious First Timer's Guide to Festival Raving and I don't want to get all carried away here and act like I totally think I know everything about everything ever, BUT... ummm...  I have fucking opinions. OH LOOK, MY BLOG. I can haz put them here?? OH WAIT, that's what it's FOR??! Purrrrfect. Heh heh. Heh

Bass Coast is coming up sooooooo soon (so soon!! THIS WEEKEND SOON!!! SPARKLING) soooo I just wanted to have a minute to talk about my most favorite places on planet earth: dance floors. Where I do all the dancing. Because it is so awesome, like, for your SOUUUUULL (deep echo-ey serious voice). Literally dancing has been a main part of my life since I first figured out how to do it with my tiny toddler feet, so you can imagine how much it means to me to have safe rad supportive places to do that in front of rad speaker systems to rad music. AND GUESS WHAT?? I keep finding new pockets of people who ALSO LOVE THESE THINGS. Extra super convenient!!! CHECK IT:

Here are some shots of the Dance Hall twerkshop we talk about in the vid. UM, RADNESS. 

And here's me below at the workshop last week (that's me in all black in the back row)! SO FUN!! There is another one TONIGHT in East Vancouver at 7:30pm, hit the Light Twerkerz page & message them for more info, and stay tuned for more twerkshopz coming soon! 

In the meantime, I figured I'm put in my ten cents worth of general thoughts on the topic of being a part of a ridiculously awesome dance floor. I LOVE DANCE FLOORS, and I wanna protect them, like the rain forest or the honey beez. I feel, for the love of booty, that we must keep them SAFE. 

Crystal Precious' Totally Unsolicited Thoughts on Dance Floor Etiquette.  By Crystal Precious. 

1. KNOW YOU ARE ENTERING THE BUBBLE REALM. It is my belief that whenever you step onto a dance floor, you are essentially adding yourself to a tiny eco-system made up of dozens and dozens of different personal-space bubbles. By entering this bubble realm, you are basically affirming that you are “with it” / conscious / physically aware enough to respectfully co-exist harmoniously within it. Your own bubble glides easily around the other bubbles while they all float happily in their own merry way to the dope music. So if you are really really, REALLY clumsily drunk or feel the need to spastically fling yourself about, do not enter this realm. DO NOT BE A BUBBLE POPPER. 

Now, because one of the most annoying parts of not being aware is uh, well, being unaware of your un-aware-ed-ness, hopefully you have friends that will tell you when you are unintentionally bubble-popping. If they do that, lemme tell ya something: LISTEN.  :) 

2. DON'T TAKE OTHER PEOPLE'S BUBBLES PERSONALLY. Some people's bubbles are bigger than others'. If you start dancing next to someone and you notice them stepping back, TAKE a CUE and give them the space they need. 

To be honest, I kinda feel that the SAME GOES for HUGS, and not just on dance floors. Especially at festivals. People are EVERYWHERE and sweaty and fucked up and intense, and sometimes the idea of continuously hugging everyone can get overwhelming, especially if drugs are involved on either side. SO DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY if someone doesn't go in for a hug, or if they step back when you go in for one.  Just give 'em a high-five or whatever instead, all good.  And most certainly, DO NOT insist that they hug you or “give you a kiss”. That reeks of awkwardness and straight-up, isn't really that empowering. Remember, not getting hugged is not necessarily a statement as to whether or not that person likes you. It's just about where they are in that moment. 

3. REMEMBER THAT THE DANCE FLOOR IS THE VIBE. You're not just adding to it.. you ARE it. So, if I may be so bold as to suggest... DANCE. :) Awesome energetic dance floors = awesome vibes. Personally I would avoid doing things like, oh, say standing DIRECTLY in front of the DJ booth scream-talking to your friend for an extended period of time about something unrelated while everyone else is trying to get down. As you probably guessed, this has happened to me a few times, once at a groovy chill deep bass night. Literally two girls were yelling at each other over the music about some drama at her dayjob for like 10 minutes, screaming directly in front DJ's set-up as though the rest of us weren't even there. Someone finally politely pointed out to them nicely that perhaps they could do that over on the sidelines. I agreed, because..

4. TRY TO RESPECT WHEN PEOPLE ARE IN their DANCE “ZONES".  When someone comes up and tries to start a full-on conversation with me while I'm obviously deep in a blissed out zone of dancing, I'll be honest... it always confuses the fuck out of me. To me its akin to waking someone up from a beautiful dream or like, taking away the delicious Yolk's they just waited in line for. No sense making. There's tons of great places are to have a catch-up chat: the sidelines, further back on the dance floor (like where people are more just standing / nodding / hanging out), the chill-out spaces, or at the bar / camp, or even the bathroom line-up (personally I feel the bathroom line-up catch-ups are totally rad way to sweeten a wait) or like 10 000 other places. You know where ISN'T maybe? Right in the very front of a giant 100 000 watt sound system. Just sayin'. 

Honestly, some of the best bonding moments I've ever had have come from a short embrace, the FEW words exchanged, or even just that shared look or nod on the dance floor... you know, that confirmed understanding between two people that everything is FUCKING AWESOME at that moment. Full-on conversation mode right in front of the speakers? Not so much. No offense, but I can't really hear you anyway. Even if I'm nodding and smiling, I probably have no idea what you said.

5. TEXT LATER, DAMN YOU. If you suddenly stop in the middle of a raging dance floor to tuck your head down text, you are effectively mentally taking yourself out of what is happening around you. I'm just gonna come out with my personal bias here: I personally find it confusing to see people not being fully present at these thoughtfully produced events into which they themselves put a bunch of money of energy into attending. Why? Seriously. May I humbly suggest that you fully immerse yourself and enjoy your dancefloor moments! Wait til you need to take a break, step to the sidelines, drink water, reply to your text or tweet your update. Cuz honey, they can wait. Trust me. I realize it's the future, but you are still in charge of your raving life. And rave hard you must.

6. CIGARETTES ON DANCEFLOORS ARE DEEPLY UNPOPULAR. Sawwwry 'bout it, but this is what I've generally found. Personally, I love the occasional smoke when I'm partying... but – and you know this --- people who hate cigarette smoke really fucking hate it. It infects their bubbles, and bubble respect must be maintained I feel. SO I hang back or on the side-lines if I want to have a smoke, not where people are really getting down. Also, not goin' lie, I will never forgive the girl who flailed her LIT cigarette into my de-collatage while she was dancing and not only burnt my dress, but my precious, precious cleavage. And then I couldn't find it because it had like, fallen into my outfit and burnt two other places trying to find it. HELL to the NNNAWW. :( The good news is that it seems like vapes and joints are still ok as long as there is a certain amount of conscious-ness administered when using them. I think it may have to do with the fact that everyone is being more mindful about where the joint is, cuz they wanna smoke some. :)

7. DON'T TOUCH.  Might seem obvious, but I'm always surprised how many people think its ok to reach out and touch my fringey bra or my corset or whatever on the dance floor. Nope. With the exception for the hand-on-shoulder / hand-on-elbow "excuse me" or “hey, I need to get your attention for some reason”, there is never a reason for you to touch someone or their costumes, ever, unless you get their permission, no matter what they are wearing, or the way they are dancing. Usually people will make it very very clear if they want to dance with you.. and if not, I would almost always assume that they are going back to doing their own thing in their own bubble.

8. MIND YOUR WINGS and BACKPACKS, ummkayyy. I always wince when I see the cute grrl in in the faery outfit with the GIANT wings accidentally poke out the eye of the equally cute dude she hasn't even had a chance to meet yet. If you are a faery and want to wear your wings on the outside come festy time, might I suggest buying a pair of dancefloor-friendly ones (Kelsey Faery makes some, I have a pair in white. Key piece.]). But for real, sharp points and blinding lights and heavy backpacks and water bottles in the middle of the floor that roll around... eff. Just keep your shit in your bubble, raver. :)

9. IF SOMEONE IS BEING INAPPROPRIATE and DOESN'T RESPOND to boundaries, FOR THE LOVE OF EFF, TELL SECURITY. You are not making a scene. You are simply impeding unpleasantness from continuing, Bubble Protector.  One of the things that always made me really upset at [our old venue] Dollhouse is hearing AFTER the fact if someone was being uncool or harassing people on the dance floor. So frustrating, because one report early on usually nips that shit in the bud. There is almost always security overlooking different parts of the dance floor and they are LITERALLY being paid to deal with shit like that. Saying something doesn't have to be a big deal... like you can just saddle up and be like, “hey, uh, so-and-so is super wasted, kinda borderline inappro at the mo... maybe keep an eye out”, or “hey, so just wanting to mention that that random dude rubbed up on me without permission, who is that dude? Will you keep an eye on him?" Usually security will just go warn them very discreetly and in my experience, most people will stop any behaviour instantly the moment they know security is on them. So for the sake of EVERYONE, please please please say just say something. 

10. PARTICIPATE! DANCE. Don't be AFRAID to BE THE FIRST crew on the floor if that's what it takes. Honestly there is wayyyy too much too-cool-for-schoolness that happens, I think, and not enough taking advantage of what dancin' can do for you. It's soooo great at loosening up and letting go of all the old crap in your system you don't need any more. You know the expression "shake it off"? Yah. Cuz that's why. :) Also it just getz blood pumpin and energy flowin and all that hot ass flush in your FACE that I love so much. ;) Iz hotness. Make it happen. 

You'll see my ass werrrrrrkin' at Bass Coast for sure... really pumped to bring my grrl Melody Mangler for her VERY FIRST outdoor festical experience! We're performing at 10pm on Saturday at Main Stage, and AS ALWAYS at Keefer Bar this coming Thursday. We have a special twerker for ya this week, Miss Villainy Loveless... last week she actually cartwheeled up onto the wall in a handstand twerk in the full-on floor length window in Chinatown. UN- MISSABLE. Make the right choice my friends. Come see us off. :) 

I luz ya alll. Can't wait to DANCE. DANCE. DANCE.