Thursday, July 20, 2017

How To Misbehave Ep 004 - Shay Lhea & Bass Coast Denoument

This episode features the stunning Shay Lhea (right, with her incredible partner Brix, left), a whip-smart artist with brilliant insights galore AND -- you guesssed it -- a VERY sassy personality.  I'm a very big fan -- SHOCKER. :) Here she spills about how she didn't actually even WANT to go to Bass Coast, ended up there anyway, and had a VERY different experience than she expected. Check out Ep 004 of How To Misbehave and don't forget to subscribe!!  Photo by Joffrey Smiles, courtesy of Bass Coast Festival.

Shay (right) with her partner Brix (left). Photo by Joffrey Smiles courtesy of Bass Coast Festival. 

Thursday, July 6, 2017

How To Misbehave Ep 003 - Honey LaRochelle

Vancouver-native Honey LaRochelle makes a living by touring around the world as a supporting vocalist to major mainstream acts. Meanwhile, she holds a solid rep in the underground circuits with her killer original releases, mind-boggling performances, and refreshingly irreverent personality. Here she talks with CP about navigating the ghostwriting scene in LA, stealing wine from Roberta Flack, and how she decided to make money her bitch.

Subscribe in iTunes or stream it here:

Thursday, June 29, 2017

The Crystal Precious Guide to Festival Raving - 2017 Edition

It's that time again!!


Normally I write out this epic bazillion page detailed Guide every year with stories and anecdotes and revisions and blah blah "in my voice"... BUT THEN... it dawned on me. Why don't I LITERALLY put this in my voice? *ligthbulbs. ! OH SHIITTTT.

It's CP podcast o'clock, bishes. Your laundry day / commute / workout / etc just got SASSIER. And yes, I'll be releasing episodes every week after this! Been recording episodes for months I tell you. Not joking. MONTHS. :) :)

If you use iTunes / iPhone, here be the link!

Androids click here! 

Download them in .mp3 format here:  EP 001   EP 002 

I'm also streaming them on Soundcloud (below in order). All the detes / reminders/ etc are there!

As mentioned in Ep 001 I've also included a Cheat Sheet of all the crap you need to remember for later visual reference while you're packing & prepping in case you're like me and your short term memory isn't the greatest anymore (hmmm wonder why THAT could be)...

CP Fest Reminders Cheat Sheet
CP Fest Packing List

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to the podcast and/or give it a review!!  Each time someone subscribes I get bumped up in the search engine, so I'd be mega grateful.

See you at Bass Coast on the Mainstage Friday!!

Snapz n' sashays..


Bass Coast Main Stage 2014
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Tuesday, June 27, 2017

How To Misbehave Ep 001 - Crystal Precious Beginner's Guide To Festival Raving Part 1 of 2

Download it here:


If you know someone heading out to their first electronic music festival, you know that it can be kinda tricky to explain to them what they're in for. Luckily, I've revised this guide almost every year since 2008 with new tips & tricks and I'm delighted for the 2017 version to serve as my first podcast episodes!! Trust, I TELL IT.

CP's Beginner's Guide is intended to destroy those gross  "underprepared" feelings. Let's skip any of that nerve-wracking crap and use our energy for delightful first-festival sass explosions inside our brains and hearts instead, shall we? And if you're the one bringing someone new, gawd knows you're already busy getting your own shit together. Simply send this to them. SEND IT TO EVERYONE !!! And for the love of eff, SUBSCRIBE RIGHT THERE ----->

Part 1 is streamable here now. WARNING: Explicit Content.

Part 2 will be released on Thursday June 29th on iTunes provided they approve my snarky ass. After that THURSDAY will be my regular podcast episode release day every other week, as a sort of nod to the show I used to host at The Keefer Bar on Thursdays with Sweet Soul Burlesque.

By then, my podcast / rss / subscription feeds should be set up and I should be searchable in iTunes & other podcast apps as well! Thank you for bearing with me; I'm learning as I go because I'm a business lady. Doing my important business things. 🎀  *clicks computer keys


Winks n' wiggles,

Monday, March 13, 2017

March Shows, Veme, Podcast & General Sass Levels

Ummkay first thing's first: 2 shows this March in Vancouver:

MARCH 14th: Guilt & Company for the Gastown Cabaret

This group of weirdos is a particularly magical combination and YES, there will be a contortionist drag queen. WHO I LOVE. 

MARCH 23rd: CHERRY'S 40th uh I mean, 24th-FOREVER B-day Party @ The Fox Cabaret

Can you believe this bish is 40? Might be time to party. I'll be hosting at The Fox. COME<3 p="">

OH RIGHT ... also I helped make an app called VEME.. and t
here's a lot of this going on, which we weren't necessarily expecting... but that we're learning is quite normal.

I started out taking a paid position with the project in 2015, figuring that learning the ropes around creative content strategy would be a good plan to step up my online marketing game in general.

At that point the plan was to test the Veme app locally but ultimately to launch out of US under Veme’s American advisors / investors’ guidance. I was stoked cuz LEARNINGZ & California adventures!! :D ! But of course during the course of the project the CDN $ dropped, tech realities & delays reared their heads, and our staff shifted dramatically. I also fell in love with someone here (who also happens to be in tech), another one of about 10 billion reasons we were all pretty adamant about staying put for launch. We just know it would be so so rad to launch a female-led creative tech project out of Van specifically highlighting local content.

When Trump got elected, our desire to stay put was set in stone. We shift from a SF PR firm to a local bad-ass one that’s been teaching me TONS. Major upgrades all around as far as my skillz go. Let's just hope I can put 'em to good use.

TO BE CLEAR tho, we are still very much pre-launch; there's detailed strategies for three separate “official” launch phases later this year and we are waiting on further funding to activate those. Assuming we move forward, my role would shift largely to content development. In the meantime, it’s all about figuring out who and how people want to use this thing, so feel free to DL it and help us find bugz to squish!! :)

While that goes down, I get to shift over to beginning my PODCAST broadcasts in May! (WEEE) while working some marketing / social media strategy contracts for my friends’ small businesses on the side. I'd also have a shit ton of new songs and am eager to do some recording. Doing the podcast has been helping me get my gear game dialed so I can DIY home vox now and I really, REALLY love that. I predict good thingz.

In all my years of planting "big" project seeds, some have had beautiful blooms; some stay tucked away in the earth, but all have gifted me with insane skills, relationships and experience. I'm open and grateful for either / or. Regardless as to where either Veme or the podcast project goes, the focus has really been about expanding my expressive energy to more modern forms, and to develop transferrable skill sets I can use to promote my art and/or generate income. I do miss the stage, but I'm still hitting it here and there... I try to remind myself that the long game is to end up back there for good, and in a more sustainable way.

I love surprises... We'll see what grows roots this spring.

Bumz n' bunny snuggles,


Saturday, December 10, 2016

Saying No To The Echo Chamber - Art vs. Network

One month later. the fog has lifted. Literally. It REALLY helps that the sun has come out in Vancouver this week, snow or no. I always forget how much I need more of it.

I have to admit that my profound disappointment and shock at Trump's election win brought about some un-useful behaviour -- like ohhh say, calling the Americans that voted for him "assholes". Sigh. In the moment it seemed to be WAY TOTALLY HELPFUL, but I acknowledge that and I apologize in general. Reactions aside, I am actually completely on-board and in fact INTERESTED in having discussions about different viewpoints, so long as they do not promote hate and or disrespect. I'm glad the perspective of openness towards discussion seems to be encouraged among my peers and moving around the web.

Since the election, I've been drawn to learning more about this echo chamber effect the media world is chattering about.  Loosely speaking, I'm referring to the idea that social-network based media tends to provide world views limited to the (usually) like-minded people on your feed. Up until this year, the likelihood of me deleting someone who said something (subtly or unintentionally) sexist from my friend feed was very high. Now I'm reconsidering whether that is really the most helpful thing to do. Isn't the reason why I'm here to share my ideas to those who haven't seen it that way before? Isn't that what all artists do?

Reminded me of why I've always strived to bring burlesque to multi-disciplinary festivals. Performing for each other in the burlesque scene can be a great way to keep building on excellence as an art form, sure, but I think it's part of the work to make sure our messages get OUT there beyond those who already get it. IMHO, nothing says "being naked isn't an invitation for sexual assault" like a quality burlesque show at an outdoor music festival. I felt great about trying to branching out from the burlesque scene, even if I've performed at some places where there have been some fat-shaming idiots in the crowd heckling me or propositioning me after the show. I think it's worth it.

I decided this month to finally start setting up a broader access Page on Facebook. I've been reluctant to do this up until now as I was mega burnt out on admin stuff while managing the Sweet Soul troupe. Now we have shifted, and I'm only leading the projects I want to. I've had a good break and I feel refreshed. I've become a lot more comfortable with my boundaries, which was another source of reluctance around putting myself out there more.

It's a process...  hatching again is awkward, and it'll be a trial and error like everything until I find my footing. :) If you've read this to the end.. thank you, sincerely.

I love you and I'm NOT AFRAID TO SAY IT. So there.



Friday, November 11, 2016

10 Things I'm Doing To Not Freak Out

FYI I'm not sharing these necessarily as suggestions. I'm just sharing, period. I'm one of those people who usually has a delayed emotional response when serious shit goes down. Like Jen Kirkman says in her awesome book, my feelings generally write themselves into a letter that my heart will open much after the fact. I work with it. Luckily, I've been around long enough now to know when a letter has been written.

In the meantime, I do this stuff.

1. Hug people I love. A lot. A lot tho.

2. Take a 5mg melatonin before bed. Whatever. I'm not above it. Or 10 mg even if my head is really racing. I'm getting better at meditating, which YES, does help with the thought circles, but honestly it then will ofter make room for the creative to come through and then I'm UP FOREVER. For me, the only thing worse than being upset is being TIRED and upset. It's like shifting the engine into crazy town o turbo. So I take a damn supplement and I read an engaging-enough-but-not-insanely-thrilling book to distract myself until I fall asleep. Classics work beautifully. (I borrowed Rupaul's autobiography Open Library last week which is borderline too good. The key is you have to be willing to put it down.)

3. Have really soothing, non-psycho-weed on me at all times and a shit-ton of rap music to listen to. Been listening to Outkast "Atliens" after it was featured on Atlanta's season finale. (FYI I really feel like Atlanta is the smartest, deepest, coolest show on TV right now. Donald Glover = the shit.)

4. Buy a bunch of healthy groceries, including treats. That way I can't do that thing where I order 80 pizzas and a cheesecake because "I have to eat anyway". You KNOW my mouth luvvvvvvs doing that, and I couldn't give a fuck about gaining weight, but my insides don't like it much anymore. SIGH. Stupid "getting older".  

5. Be a bitch about it on my microphone. That works.

6. Catch myself in any non-productive spirals of despair and STOP to watch a baby bunny video. Legit tho, I do that. Then I  go back to whatever I was doing, which ideally requires focus. ORRR I load up an episode of Rupaul's Drag Race. Or rather --- Skin Wars, because I've seen all the RPDR episodes like ten times and I need my Ru fix NOW DAMMIT. Side note: I mayyyy be a little obsessed with Rupaul. I really do think HE should be the president.

7. Realize that technically, only a 1/4 of Americans are Serious Assholes. Just because half the population didn't vote DOES NOT automatically mean that half of them would've voted Republican. My hope isn't lost for the non-voters... even if they totally suck right now.  

8. Think about how most Officially Serious Assholes are old white dudes.  Boy, they sure do feel like they're important eh? They're SO OLD tho. Getting older every day.

9. Deeply consider the damage that Officially Serious Assholes did in our own country.  I recently learned that there are the thousands upon thousands of Canadian humans who don't have safe running water.  Over 100 reserves. WHAT THE FUCK?? That shit is fucking crazy. How did I not even know that was happening?!! Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's all just more fallout from racism and fascism in the name of economic power, right? Trump is an Official Serious Asshole, but we have not exactly been asshole-free up here. If I'm gonna stick my fist in the air for future America, current Canada is getting bumped up the list too.

Sometimes I don't know what the thing is that I can do to help with that, honestly, like tangibly. Maybe it's time to start asking people.

10. I feel the effing feelings. UGGGGH THIS ONE'S THE WORST.

You never know when the mail's gonna show up for someone. I hope we all stagger a bit.