BASS COAST WILL LIVE TO 2021!!! I am relieved AF.

SOCIAL DISTANCING DAY 36

So it’s official. Due to the ol’ Covid 19. All of the summer’s large-scale events have been deemed officially canceled by the health minister. No big crowds of any sort will be gathering. Somewhere in the distance, a massive toilet can be heard flushing down this year’s iterations of our beloved festivals.

Without getting into details you could look up yourself (or already have), my beloved Bass Coast announced their COVID-19 survival plan and it's actually pretty solid. But wait -- TWIST -- not everyone agrees with it.  Cue immediate FB shit-storm.

I want to acknowledge that all people’s feelings are valid. I’m not going to argue with people’s respectfully voiced feedback. Disappointment and frustration (and any other thoughts) is understandable. It’s a pain in the ass to have to sell a ticket or wait to redeem it, re-coordinate plans, and not have that extra cash in the meantime. 100% true. It will take time and a temporary period of unknowing. That's definitely inconvenient.

colour me bemused as I peruse the ranting yesterday

One of the most important things I’ve accomplished in my life is becoming comfortable with people disagreeing with me when I know, in my heart, that I’ve acted in line with my values. Knowing that people might shit-talk me, misunderstand me, ignore me  -- and being okay with that --  feels immeasurably powerful. Especially if I can continue to be open to useful feedback.

 In this case, not everyone knows the organizers. Not everyone has had a chance to understand and know how long and how hard-won Bass Coast is as a festival; how many trials and tribulations and struggles and lobbying and negotiating and debts and dynamics and straight up manual labour it took to make it happen. They don’t know the kind of integrity it takes to maintain relationships and partnership through the years; to keep the experience a quality one enough to attract the best staff and talent without a big budget. They have no idea. And you can’t really blame people for that. But if they stick around, they'll learn. And it'll be worth it. And I'll even bet the outcome from this process will surprise and impress them. While I’m trying not to sound like an elitist cult tripper here, yesterday I saw so many misunderstandings about the counterculture mentality upon which these festivals were founded. It was almost perfect irony to see so many of the assumptions and accusations I read on the thread yesterday in DIRECT conflict with the key values of the rave-dom.

I often refer to Shambs as the “portal party” because it tempts many curious, rager-lovin' youngins to their first conscious rave-type event and they get their minds BLOWN. Is that because of the stages and the impressive lazer shows? Nope. You can catch that shit at the PNE.

These are the vibes that changed the game for me:

• Expressing myself here actually feels safe.
• Gathering in large crowded spaces doesn’t feel scary
• Strangers are being kind, and warm, and welcoming.
• I actually genuinely feel connected to other humans.
• Blatant female sexuality is being respected, not just consumed with gross entitlement.
• Nature is valuable and important and considered.
• Woman and queer folx and people of colour are visible and supported here.
• The "war on drugs" is whack af. Alcohol is just as harmful, if not more harmful, than other drugs and psychedelics are like, good for you. NOTE TO SELF: probably be careful when doing drugs.
• If you raise a pirate flag, it will be stolen. By pirates.
• This community feels real.
• There are lots of dudes hugging. (I remember not having seen that before, like overt straight dude affection was still new to me, which is fucked when you think about it ).
• Music and dancing is healing af.
• It's okay to try things, and get feedback, and learn / adjust / change / grow.
• People deserve the benefit of the doubt. People can be trusted.
• PLUR, bitches.

Sounds unrealistically altruistic, and of course there are discrepancies, but more often or not, this is a real thing at these festivals. This is why those kids go back to Calgary with love in their hearts and their brains still Fractal'ed all over the Forest. We are here for each other. ACTUALLY.

This does not, however, exonerate these festivals from needing to operate within a capitalist framework. I do not know the inner workings of Shambhala’s model, but I know they own their land and certain infrastructures, they are three times as big as Bass Coast, and they had a ten year head start. I have no doubt that they can extend options that Bass Coast cannot. But to Bass Coast’s end, I 10000000% trust that they did not “mismanage” ticket money, that they are not “lining their pockets” and that they are doing the very best they can to come up with creative solutions to keep what is an extremely important event to a lot of people. For fuck’s sake, they are STILL combing the feedback and trying their best to adjust the policies as best they can even though they are tiptoeing through emotional landmines with every comment they read. WHO DOES THAT? Ravers, that’s who.

It's hard to make tough decisions that not everyone will agree with. As a recovering people-pleaser tho, I gotta say, I think it’s pretty badass.

Stay safe friends. I love you, for real tho.

xoxoxo
CP


PS: I have some more things to add re: festivals and some other stuff about my alcohol and drug use. Next post. I’ve been really loving writing on the actual new / full moons and posting the next day. See you on May 8th then? Prrrow

QUARANTINA BIRTHDAY and SWEET GOODBYES - Social Distancing DAY 24

QUARANTINA BIRTHDAY w/ those hot roots spillin' secrets  all over the place. shiiii

WELL. I have to say my 39th birthday was actually pretty fabulous and VERY "Aries - The CP Story". Strong start, very excited, got tipsy and went IG live only to realize that it’s incredibly glitchy and stuttered and kept crashing for like, EVERYONE (sarry about it). I then got frustrated not being able to properly interact or land jokes due to the lag, so I kind of stopped after about an hour. CLASSIC. 😎😂🎉


Def had a big bout of darkness and anxiety this week, which I recognize might be related to post-party brain dips, but also could maybe be, I don’t know, THE GLOBAL PANDEMIC currently happening. As the kinda bitch who strives to push the envelope and exercise my freedoms shamelessly, new restrictions come not-so-delicately wired to a deep, rooted rage. I am someone who consciously revels in rebellious, libertine-esque indignation as a general lifestyle choice, and I recognize this means I hold an insane amount of privilege, but nevertheless, that’s my deal. Logically, I knew it was very “first-world” and JUST a weee bit disproportionate to hurl hell’s fury at the locks on the tennis courts where I like to practice rollerskating, but I have to tell you, it REALLY seemed warranted at the time.


I imagined what it must be like for the people who are properly fucked right now; people who are being forced to work in terrible conditions because they can’t afford to get sick, people in the immigration border camps, people defending their land up North. I raged. And I raged about how powerless I feel. AND, thanks to standard boomer parent programming, I had to remind myself OVER and OVER and OVER that it's okay to be upset even though my life is a relative breeze. Any of these sound familiar? "I'll give you something to cry about". "You're being silly". "Settle down". I mean to be fair I get why parents do that, since babies cry over literally everything, but it can take conscious effort to shhh those voices now. I did it tho. I let myself fully surrender to the emotions that DEMAND for me to participate in the overwhelming call-to-action happening all around the world. I think it's important to do. I def want to stay connected to that.


Beyond all of this craziness tho, I'll be straight-up: this been a fucking painful, awkward and loss-filled 38th year. I made a LOT of seriously uncomfortable trial-and-error adjustments last year, house-wise, job-wise, friends-wise; my daily routines, even the way I drink (I’m stoked, but damn. SO much work and failed attempts to get there). The flip side, tho, is that all these changes were a result of some serious progress around my self esteem and my sense of personal power. I guess you could call it , um, “growing up”. UGHHHHHHH


Here’s the big one: I shed some good friends -- at one point, were best friends, even -- who, for whatever (perfectly valid) reason, were no longer able to show up for me. And that might sound like a no-brainer, but unfortunately the way these things usually happen isn’t always because everyone is all forthcoming about growing apart with lots of tears and hugging and greeting cards. Nope. Sometimes “not-showing-up” manifests in a lot of denial, passive aggression, avoidance and promise-breaking. I’d be lying if I told you that a lot of events around this shift weren't profoundly disappointing, but no one's perfect I guess, including me. Here’s the magic thing tho. For the first time in my life, I didn’t try to fix things. I didn’t overcompensate. I didn’t try harder or betray my own boundaries to keep everything “working”. I didn’t fight it. Instead I simply adjusted my choices to reflect my true values. And it was rough, but you know what? Sad news is never fun. Doesn’t mean it isn't key information. And damned if being able to face and handle that shit doesn’t make me feel powerful AF.


16 years of joy and fun and debauchery. Wild nights of shows, sex and secrets. The killer lessons and SOLID savvy I earned from Sweet Soul will remain safely tucked in my bra, along with some very epic stories, hopefully that I will write about it one day. Maybe here? Maybe as part of a book? One day. No regrets, but one thing's for sure: the spell is broken. No longer am I living in the la-la land of my 20s where red flags only served to point me towards the path to familiarity.  😂  I’ll tell ya, it’s one thing to take the time to realize the unhelpful patterns you recreate as a young adult, it’s quite another to watch yourself break free of them. I’m fucking strong. And now I have THAT to offer that up to the next big chapter.


In comes 39, and out goes a really big, glittery, era of my life. It’s been over “unofficially” for a long time, “officially” for a short time, but was only finally truly and fully released by my heart, with this pretty, pink, full moon.

I love you all. See you ‘round the 22nd?


Xoxo
CP