September 15, 2011 FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE THE KEEFER BAR & SWEET SOUL BURLESQUE CELEBRATE ONE YEAR with A SASSQUERADE SPECTACULAR!
It's not just the steady stream of well-liquored guests that have taxis lined up outside the Keefer Bar on Thursday nights. The critically acclaimed Sweet Soul Burlesque dancers have been perfecting their intimate cabaret show there for the past year, glittering visibly from the street through a large picture window.
"The stage is flush up against the patio, so I suppose passers-by - or cab drivers - tend to get a good view," says Crystal Precious, producer and host of the night, with a wink. "Luckily we're not exactly shy."
After 8 years of producing their own shows at various venues around the city (including their own underground venue, the now de-funct Dollhouse Studios), Vancouver's original professional burlesque troupe have settled into a permanent residency at the upscale China Town hotspot. October 6th marks the one year anniversary of the Keefer staff serving up luscious libations along to the fabulous Sweet Soul femmes every Thursday night.
"It just makes perfect sense," says Keefer manager Danielle Tatarin of the partnership. "We're trying to create a sensual experience, but not too serious or pretentious... a place where you know the service and cocktails will be top-notch but can you can still have a laugh and maybe still see something onstage that surprises you." Not satisfied with just straight vintage striptease, the Sweet Soul girls are also known to rap, sing, incorporate magic tricks or add circus feats to the mix.
"We work really hard to keep the show fresh & lively," says Vancouver's infamous rock n' roll flapper, Sweet Soul girl Lola Frost. "It's important to us to present varied takes on what 'sexy' can mean while keeping up the quality of the performances. We want to send the message that it's possible be creative, diverse, sexy and fun all at the same time."
The anniversary show on October 6th will be a grand masquerade, or "Sassquerade", with live feed of the performances projected around the bar. Guests are encouraged to wear masks (or they can use one of the fabulous ones provided at the door). The night's acts will feature group burlettas, special surprise guests and specials from sponsors Cointreau & Jack Daniels. Doors at 9, shows begin at 10pm and last call will be at 1am.
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Sweet Sip Thursdays One Year Anniversay Sassquerade Spectacular October 6th, 2011 @ The Keefer Bar 135 Keefer St, Chinatown Vancouver
Regular admission is $10 For more information, media guest list or more hi-resolution images, please contact crystalpreciousproductions@gmail.com.
Image attached of Sweet Soul Burlesque's Little Miss Risk by David Denofreo.
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About The Keefer Bar:
The Keefer Bar is a place where you can come to escape the rush and unwind in a unique atmosphere where cocktails, food and music are in harmony. The intricately designed cocktail program focuses on Apothecary style drinks created to soothe ailments and balance one’s mood. Ingredients for the Asian influenced small plated food and specially crafted drinks are sourced from local Chinatown markets and herbalists. Bar Manager, Danielle Tatarin and Creative Director, Free Lee work with their team to develop the exceptional atmosphere and unique house made tinctures, bitters, syrups and teas to incorporate into the pre-prohibition influenced drinks.
About Sweet Soul Burlesque:
Sweet Soul Burlesque is Western Canada’s longest running professional neo-burlesque troupe. Founded in 2003 out of a passion for the genuine DIY pin-up grrl culture, Sweet Soul strives to raise the bar by creating fun, ground-breaking burlesque performances that are of unequaled production value. From ribbon staffs to giant venus fly traps to fire tricks to life-sized jack-in-the boxes, each Sweet Soul dancer (Cara Milk, Cherry OnTop, Crystal Precious, Little Miss Risk, Lola Frost & Rita Star) has spent years individually crafting her own persona & performance style. Get ready for a vibrant mash-up of classic striptease with elements of hip hop, underground dance culture & punk rock.
Since their inception, Sweet Soul Burlesque has quickly become internationally reknown and has been featured in the Globe & Mail, CBC Television and Radio, Fashion TV, MuchMusic & MTV and has appeared at hundreds of events & festivals across the continent, from the Pemberton Music Festival to the New York Burlesque Festival. In 2010 they were honoured with a nomination for World’s Best Troupe at the International Burlesque Hall of Fame in Las Vegas.
Post modern bananarchy / aries horned warrior belligerence / overflowing everything / red kimono golden dragon / earth harp eye squirting / dmt desertion / ringing temple ultra-catharthis / pink courtney surgery / bike trail follow fallout / chainsaw margheritas / lady-tramp pizza sharing / santa-fucker monkey whipping / deep french quarter release / tiki flaming juice / drum n bass nostalgia kicks / dance floor prosecco church communion / steampunk octopis / FIRE flame fire fire fire flames fire lighta! fire flame fire FIRE / antler mohawk wheelchair motorbike / bronners whipped cream aquarium swimming / gash aggravation / knee scratching / stripper callous celebrating / venus gas-mask g-string bracelet / ladder spinning bed trannie dating / transit ejection pre-resurrection / passion-horse trojan love-explosions / porn-star shower consolations / fire fire fire hand to hand to hand to hand / hugs / touch / stylus sunrise / two be see the endless skies and beauty and light pour and swirl and coat me deeply, finally, ENTIRELY in love like so much playa dust... and LOVE and LOVE and I LOVE and I am LOVED.
BURNING MAN.
A part of me has died. It's gone. Ashes.
It's a new motherfucking ballgame bitches.
Prepare for FIRE.
xo CP
(Here are some gorgeous photos by Michael Holden of the Man exploding & the Temple at sunrise; for more click here, thanks and love to Michael for these and for all that are forthcoming; I am humbled to find people who can capture this event's epic beauty so well. Um... HOLY FUCKING SHIT. xoxo)
WHOA mad blog-withdrawal. I think it's just cuz I've been in music-land and new website-building land and also house-hunting and packing-moving land... unfortunately that shit takes time (where is my cabana team). I don't mind it so much though, all part of the general life upgrade.. you're supposed to work for things to enjoy them fully right? And who knew that kickboxing and the patriarchy go so well together? Not to be even more of a bitch cliche but uhhh... I love that shit. Also it's a fabulous opportunity to wear my vintage Puma wrestling boots. Ideal.
Moving means loud tune listening, and I've been back into the grunge / punk / riot grrl music action like whoa. And just in case you are one of those obnoxious people born in the early nineties (arrrgh, you never get my jokes or Hallowe'en costumes, I was THE BEE GIRL!!!), here is a reason why I keep using two r's when I spell "grrl". Nope, it's not cuz I'm retarded or because I saw some cool chick spell it like that on her blog... actually, oh shit. Wait a minute.
Ok so technically it wasn't a blog, it was a zine, but that was basically the early nineties' answer to the blog, only like, wayyyy harder to do so it was about a billion time cooler. Cuz you had to be fucking dedicated to get your shit together to type something out, find drawings for it and then get it together to steal (I mean borrow) someone's copycard and photocopy it and then staple it and stuff it or whatever and then mail it to say, oh I don't know, some random Canadian prairie capital where a pissed=off, overly-sexed mentally-frustrated teenager with purple hair and bad jewelry awaited EVERY SINGLE WORD. Cuz yah. Doing all that pretty much reeks of effort. Thank god all I have to do now is just type some shit, copy paste some pix / music and as you can see, I can barely find the time to do that. So I think we've established that chicks like Kathleen Hanna who put together the Bikini Kill zine were wayyy baddass.
I must tell you that IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE RIOT GRRL MANIFESTO you are simply missing out on a key part of Crystal Precious.
Go ahead, read it. If you've read it, read it again. I'll wait for you.
...waiting....
Yay! Good job. Now imagine 'lil ol' me... always that the chick wanting to talk about music, obsess over music, listen to music, wanting to be in a band, go to every rave ever, dance to music, make music... and really not seeing too many other girls doing that. Especially in my high school. Like, none. Just dudes giving me weird looks and telling me I was fun to party with and that I should wear skirts more. Uhhh....
Don't forget we weren't all connected by a click of the mouse back then. If you lived in the middle of the Prairies, you had access to cable TV, select mags, music and that was it. Anything else you had to dig for. I think I was 16 or 17 before we had dial up, I didn't even have an e-mail address until I graduated from highschool. So reading this in print was the first time I'd ever heard anyone ever say anything like this, much less write it in a tangible form, and I knew as I was reading it it had been mailed out to thousands of other girls (I mean grrlz) just like me. It was kind of a big deal. It made things seem possible. It changed my life.
Of course I'm not the kind of person to follow someone else's mantra to the letter, and these days I'm thinking about this in the context of whole new category of underground performance art / community building. I also have much more complicated thoughts about capitalism and about how our general economic structure affects the way we relate to one another, and how women, especially women with high media profiles, fit into that. But aside from those mental amendments I don't think these manifesto words have ever left me. The truths and hopes and resolves they instilled in my little teenage heart are as clear to me as on the first day they settled there. I am forever grateful to them and to Ms Hanna for making me feel like I wasn't the only grrl on the planet. It made me excited to meet new grrlz and maybe team up with them and maybe... make some music.
Sooo first thing's first... I started skipping highschool a lot (best decision of my life, seriously) and found some theatre / music kids to hang out with, some of whom I'd met through the raves and inner city house parties. Hanging out with like-mindeds made me feel a little braver. Consequently I started my first band at 15 with Steve Ferminiuk on bass, David Gregoire & Mitch Delot on guitars, and a serious metal kid on drums. We were called... wait for it... Sodom & Gamorrah. Severe right? My dad thought we were super annoying. Lots of screaming and leather. It was perfect. Mostly originals, we had songs called "Cancer" and "Mrs. Alexander". We also did a few covers... "Long Snake Moan" from PJ Harvey's To Bring You My Love album, for example. Not gonna lie, I'm simultaneously relieved and saddened that no evidence remains of good ol' Sodom. This was obviously before Pro-Tools and Logic or even the common ownership of laptops. We played our debut show in the basement of a bingo hall near Grant Park Shopping centre (I wonder if that was where I got the idea to put on burlesque shows in halls. Might've been. We got away with murder there). After that it was Ozzy's in the basement of the Osbourne Hotel, the all ages metal bar under the Zoo. Someone there saw me do my thing and later at a party asked if I would try out for the band that would ultimately became Moses Mayes (it was called Supershagg then). I was 16. They liked me. Yeah both bands were pretty much all dudes, but still. It was Winnipeg and I had a band. And they let me do what I wanted, for the most part, I wrote all my own vox and lyrics. And so CP took her first wee steps.
Lately I'm finding I'm kind of scratching my head again. It's like, oh shit, Oprah quit... phewf, we still have Tina Fey. But its weird because I've spent a lot of time figuring out how to NOT be pissed off about sexism in my industry (and yes, many pills of ecstasy were consumed during this period.... works great, try it out). My conclusion is that I think some people are taking advantage of the irony card now. Like, there is so much un-PC satirical humour out there now that some assholes are relying on the assumption that people will just trust that they are joking when actually they aren't... they are just being really sexist. And the fact remains that mainstream media is still what SUPER impressionable 12, 13, 14 year-olds are seeing, regardless as to whether they will ultimately find solace in some alternative sub culture... or whether they will even want to. And while I have to laugh at blatant sexism when it's just absurdly offensive and therefore impressive in its uncensored glory, I don't want to be doing that as often as I am lately. Like, still not really laughing at the c-rap hip-pop music videos. They're not even trying to be ironic. Like really???? STILL?????? I wrote my rebuttle to that like 9 years ago. Big surprise that I'm kind of narrowing my eyes a bit and writing rhymes that feel like they belong in a Sodom and Gamorrah song.
Was this happening the whole time I was at the rave? How come the gays have like 9 channels now and we're still oiled up doing crotch moves in the Akon video 80 times a day?
I really love posting this Cazwell video because my good friend Isaac said something I think is probably really true about it... straight guys watch this very video and feel the same way that we feel every time we see a video-ho video. Try it. It's an indescribable feeling... not all bad, but definately unsettling. One difference though is that the dude in this vid has the distinct advantage of obviously being the one in charge here. In the flip version the females wouldn't be in charge and would be sitting on everyone's laps. Also I can't embed this vid from YouTube because its flagged as adult content. Think it'd be flagged if it was chicks? Fuck naww... you'd be watching it at 9:30 in the morning on MuchMusic while you eat your Wheaties and get ready for school. Just calmly pointing that out. NBD.
Again, it's CAZWELL'S ICE CREAM TRUCK. Just try it out. Now imagine having to see this sort of thing EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE EVER, often SEVERAL TIMES A DAY. See why it starts to fucking piss us off after awhile?
In other news, I totally need some ice cream now that is completely unrelated to this video. I swear.
big love and grrrrrrrrl growlz xoxo CP
PS: If you are in Vancouver this Friday and you are not on the giant steampunk pirate ship party cruising around the city as the sun sets, I seriously question your judgement. LIKE SERIOUSLY. This will be epic beyond all things conceivable. Boarding starts at 7pm, we set sail at 8pm. 750 Pacific Blvd. MAKE IT HAPPEN.
So whatever, apparently the Canadian government is putting ELECTIONS in the middle of my sooooper busy schedule. HELLOOOOOOO, this is supposed to be the most joyful time of year (aka the Burlesque Festival). G-strings are snapping, heels are clicking, Dress-Sew is cha-chinging and my giddy hand-clapping / air-humping speeds are increasing with staggering velocity. Obviously it's like SO distracting to have to see Stephen Harper's SUPER unsassy face like 80 times a day and hear about his evil plans to destroy everything that I hold near and dear (i.e. art, trees, gays & abortions, so you know, basicially shit I need to live). SO FUCKING INCONVENIENT.
I guess this means that even though I'm totally swamped with UBER-important duties like making undies shaped like pie, smuggling crystal-encrusted toilets over the border and talking to the press about bloodwrestling, at some point I'll need to put down the glue gun, go to an offensively colour-schemed gymnasium and put a check next to someone's fucking name so that the Harper government doesn't futher impede my ultimate life's work of being really, REALLY fucking fabulous. Sigh.
I figured that if you're anything like me (i.e. barely dressed and sort of drunk most of the time), you'll probably also find this idea somewhat unappealing. So I've come up with a step-by-step program designed to help alleviate any questions, efforts and general distaste around this whole "voting" business so that you can just get 'er done and get back at it. After all, exercising our democratic right doesn't have to suck THAT much. Right?
I give you:
The Crystal Precious Bitch Grrl Guide to Voting - By Crystal Precious
Step 1 - Ignore all election propaganda EXCEPT MINE.
Moooo hahahahahah. Ok really though, I know this is a ballsy-ass bitch thing to say, but uhhh... we have met right? I mean, you can read and research all that shit if you want to, but unless you like feeling overwhelmed, infuriated, bored and FRUSTRATED by all the biased-anyway shit on the internet and in the press, lemme tell you a secret: for THIS ELECTION, plain and simple, it's all about bringing Harper down. Dude is prety much living in the stone-age... he's the ultimate homophobic arts-raping capatilist war-mongering douche nozzle. He nose is so far up Bush's ass that you know he's about to start building pipes from the tar sands right into Washington's frickin' helicopter gas tanks. DO NOT TRUST THE BEEDY EYES. Case in point: anyone who needs to take pictures of himself with a kitten to prove he's not evil has "OVERCOMPENSATION" screaming from every pore. You just can't argue with me on that one.
Now beyond my dramatic psycho-hose-beast rant insults (soooo satisfying), this sums it up: just because I like wearing DRESSES from the 50's doesn't mean I feel like RE-defending our right to choose, working for equal pay or eating pussy if I feel like it, UMMMMMMMkayyyy??? I'm too busy. MMmmffffmurgle.
Step 2 - Figure Out Who To Vote For by going to http://www.projectdemocracy.ca/ and typing in your postal code.
It might seem sketchy to blindly follow the advise of this site, but it's pretty legit. If this were any other year I would encourage you to "educate yourself, make your own decisions, really get in touch with how you feel, blah blah blah", but honestly, because of the support the Conservative (Harper) govenment has with religious and brainwashed old-school voters, voting for the candidate you actually believe might actually not be helpful this time around. The need is to defeat the Conservatives / "Tories" in enough ridings to prevent Harper's evil minions from getting the most seats in parliament and therefore being able to dominate the vote on every bloody decision with smug little smiles from hell. Sometimes that means voting for some asshole you probably wouldn't have. Fine. If I can tolerate Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy for seven fucking seasons, I'm pretty sure I can vote for a Liberal if I have to. Luckily I live in a riding where an NDP win is pretty much guaranteed so I don't have to. But I would. PS: Faith = so hot.
Step 3 - Grab your ID
... if you can find the pants you were wearing on Tuesday when you last went out drinking, which I can't but whatever. You can also grab some mail with your address on it, or your health card and someone with ID who is willing to swear you live where you live. Either one works.
Despite what you may have heard, it's SO RIDICULOUSLY easy to register and vote. It's wayyyyyy easier than other annoying things, like, say, flagging down a server at Foundation, ordering a fancy coffee when you're stoned (SO HARD) or convincing the Fido assholes that it's NOT FUCKING WATER DAMAGE. You can register at exactly the same place and time of voting right before, or online.
It tells you what you need as far as ID (tons of options, I'm sure you have one of them), where to go and when. It's very easy and clear. Even my mom could do it and she generally has a panic attack about anything related to computers or the internet. Sorry Mom. You're getting better. I love you.
Step 4 - Make a plan as to WHEN YOU ARE GOING to vote. Enlist partners in crime who will shame you to follow through.
This way you have someone to help you get your shit together on the day of in case you get really busy being hungover or (shudder) working. I find that it's helpful to promise yourself rewards and or / fun activities to do do afterwards with your voting friends, i.e. Tristan and I are going to vote together & then we are going to Ghetto Mall to look at new fun hooker shoes (yayyy!!!). TRY not to plan the time you are voting near the last minute, because inevitably you will get distracted by the delivery guy or the end of True Blood or the seductively growing comments list on your recent status update (that FB shit is evil, I swear these fuckers are trying to get us to miss our whole damn lives).
Step 5 - Vote damn you.
Once in the afore-mentioned ghastly school gymnasium, just keep your eyes on the prize. Ignore all the muggles who are muttering under their breath at you. They're just jealous of your outfits. They can't actually smell the whiskey on your breath or see the glitter from last night's show still smeared on your eyes, TRUST ME. And if anyone gets too close, just yell "YAY CANUCKS!" (apparently that's some hockey team... it will distract them and make them like you, at least long enough for you check the right box and shove your ballot in the slot thing).
Step 6 - Feel great about being PATRIOTIC and laugh maniacally when Stephen Harper FAILS to OPPRESS US
I recommend a deep, deep belly laugh beginning with MOOOOO HAHAHHAHAAHHAHhahahahaha. Honestly though, I mean, really. You can't chuck a glowstick without hitting a burlesque dancer or a raver in the face these days, right? IF WE ALL VOTE, there's no reason that fucker can't get put right back into MINORITY seating and stay away from our gahdamn right to be the suuuuuuuuper fabulous queer lovin' birth-controlled arts-loving stripping sasspots we are deep, deep down inside. SO DO IT. Or I will have sadface, and that's not attractive.
I love you all. See you at the polls.
kittens n' kix
xxoo
CP
This is how showgrrrlz feel about you Stephen.. so stop getting your face in the way of our high heels and LET. THE. KITTEN. GO.
I always particularly admired Elizabeth Taylor. When I went through my initial classic movie obsession (circa 1999, to be heavily revisited again in 2004), I seriuosly nerded out on countless library books about all the golden era sirens... and her stories were generally far more interesting than anyone else's. Perhaps because girlfriend was always in charge. There was no helpless damsel in Elizabeth Taylor. No preyed upon starlet who couldn't wait to meet the approval of a dubiously intentioned studio head. No "au naturel" bullshit anti-glam girl-next-door marketing angle. She was a straight up megastar, and one who actually accepted and understood the extent of her potential and power. I think this is rare. I also think that this is what made her such a strong voice... one that was actually heard.
Of course the flipside of this is that it also made her a D-I-V-A. The tortured love affairs, the candid responses to controversial headlines, the insistance that the breakfast table be dressed to match her outfits everyday while shooting... but she knew her worth. Enter celebrity branding. She was the OG!!! Think about it. You basically aren't famous now unless you have a perfume. Even frickin'AKON has a bloody perfume. Not so dumb that Lizzy... cuz if there's one thing that keeps selling long after the hits fade away, it's a smell that people associate as "theirs". Hey, I bet it's what'll keep Britney in Doritos... cuz I'm not sure if the music thing is really working out for her lately.
But I digress. Liz was an innovator. I perhaps admire her most for her work in Suddenly, Last Summer, a controversial film that is close to my own heart both for its anti-homophobia subtext and its out-and-out protest against the use of nerve-damaging treatments for psychiatric conditions. At the time these topics were of the greatest taboo and I applaud her for her fearless portrayal that defied the censors.. her incinuations gave them no grounds to cut out even the most obvious of dual meanings from Tenessee Williams' brilliant script. I really can't tell you how much I enjoyed that picture. I watched it early one Winnipeg morning, after a long night, at the age of 16. I'll never forget it.
So yeah. Basically Ms. Taylor was a brilliant, passionate and talented performer as well as an innovative business woman who was uncompromising in her political stance, her own artistic vision and her loyalty to her friends. IN THE FRICKIN' 50s!!! An until today. Pretty much the dopest. Oh yeah, and she was a BABE and she enjoyed that shit instead of denying that her babedom had anything to do with the rest of her life. So in other words, Liz Taylor was my hero. Amd those who know me know I don't really plan on getting married.... but I'm pretty sure that if I was the marrying type, I'd probably do it 8 times. Helloooooo...... dresses and flowers and sparkly things? Yeah. Bring it. As she once said "Big girls need big diamonds".
The Toronto Star said today that Elizabeth Taylor was an "accidental feminist". Uhhh... Star peeps....I think you accidentally forgot to replace the word "accidental" with "LEGENDARY".
Huge love to you Ms. Taylor. May the next world be so lucky.
Long time no blog. Biggest reason? Lotsa shows. And straight-up, I'm a glowy-ass bitch because of 'em, not gonna lie. I can't really say that there's anything I'd rather be doing: fresh staging', a little traveling, striphopping, writing new lyrics, laughing with my homies and geeking out something heavy... especially online, as per usual. What can I say, I'll always be that (digital) zine obsessed grrl. :) Although I have to say I'm pretty sad about the recent deaths of some my faves. Tear. MISSBEHAVE is probably the one I miss the most... FAAACK always such a good read. Click here link to read what I feel is a great article about its demise. I totally feel like that. It's like, hey... I respect all women's choices... but stop getting knocked up and leaving awesome publications, you selfish bitches!! AT least leave the fucking website up. Like, really. I super miss Michelle Baldwin at BUST too. Although those Charlie Sheen cross-stich patterns are pretty cute. BTW, who's dick do I have to suck to get my hands on a hard-copy of that mag in Vancouver? I can't. Find it. Anywhere. Not even Satan's Library (ie Chapters) has it. SUPER weird. I better not find them all under Stephen Harper's fucking bed. Just sayin'.
But yeah, busy month. Headed up to Whistler to unleash some Sweet Soul wrath on the cuteness that was the crowd at the GLC... pretty sure I busted a stomach muscle when Tristan (Little Miss Risk) pulled an ENTIRE string of pearls out of her pussy, dropped them in a glass and poured champagne all over them. Chug, chug, chug. The snowboarder screams were deafening. TOTALLY busted someone trying to steal the glass afterwards too. Always attracting the crazies, that one. Totally nuts, and totally brilliant. She's one of the bestest friends I've ever had.
So when Tris recently busted out her blog chops again (check it HERE, it's amazing), I decided I better get back on the train. I always have lots to write about but at the same time I feel like shit is happening wayyyyyyyyy faster than I can type. Last month I was stoked to get to do 12 shows, including a stint in the arctic for Rendezvous Festival. I laid vox for my first track with Woodhead, practiced the 5 more I have ready for the studio and wrote new lyrics for three more (woohooo!!). And I also juried over 100 submissions for the 6th Annual Vancouver International Burlesque Festival and chaired a bunch of production meetings for it... which by the way is gonna be THE DOPEST EVER. Unfortch some of the changes we're making this year were a little more difficult to put into practice than I was expecting but you do what you have to I guess... I'm including a public statement about that I made last week at the end of this blog. As John Woods of The Wet Spots quoted from Woody Allen immediately following the statement's release: "Part of show business is business. Otherwise they would have called it show show."
But yeah. If you factor in the need to make time for dancing, goofing off, drinking extra tasty cocktails and watching sci-fi movies while gluing crystals to shit... less blog. I guess to be honest I just still always feel like I need to write these huge long FINISHED edited, photo-accented story blogs that take 3 sittings and 8 cups of tea to perfect. What's up with that? Total bullshit. Sometimes I gotta slap myself and remember that I can do whatever the hell I want. What if I did some longer, more complete stories like my usual steez AAAAND ALSO some shorter, more abstract shit more often? More links and videos, random thoughts... pix. Why the fuck not??? One of my bigger goals for this month is to get my full site back up and running so it can have lots of little nooks and crannies to cram with sass. The Sweet Soul Burlesque website is getting an overhaul as well. Gonna be stepping that shit up a notch. Sloughing off excess... tightening things up. Inside and out.
Speaking of tightening, that crazy Tristan bitch is also getting me back into waist training, that peer pressuring little hussy. As a part-time corset fetishist and admitted occasional sub I must say I do quite like the bound-ed-ness, and as far as body-mods go, corset sinching has always appealed to me because it shapes the body without a huge focus on weight loss. And although I've definately been stepping up my fitness game these days, I'm always gonna be a curvy bitch... and corsets just amplify that whole steez. Nothing wrong with that. Since Tristan is actually going so far as to measure and record her progress, I was thinking it might be fun to do my own corset training progress blog alongside hers but like, the way a NOT totally insane person would do it. Because um... that bitch is nuts. 14 hours a day?!! Fuck that shit. Puhlayyyyyyyse.
So yeah, expect to hear about that. Also I gotta say that my affair with bass is more serious than ever. You're gonna hear about it. I so so miss those dark damp days in the basement of Redgate or at Secret Location (both underground Van spots where CP got her rave on when dubstep broke out)... still love discovering the latest mind-shattering 50 foot waves.
I'm really obsessed with Kryptic Minds at the moment. Gonna leave you with one of my favorite tunes by them:
Oh yeah, and here's the statement for the Burlesque Fest below.
Kisses n' kuffs, xoxo CP
(posted March 2nd)
My Esteemed Tassled Colleagues...
I just wanted to say a few things around the intention behind the burlesque festival’s changes this year, namely, the application process, the production cast caps and the reduced number of spots in the showcase.
I understand that this shift is a bit of a shock. For years the Vancouver festival has been extremely inclusive and the application process for VIBF fairly relaxed in comparison to other festivals. I think up until now, this has been totally appropriate and consistent with past years’ primary focus of uniting a very large and very eclectic community. We wanted to help everyone join forces, encourage each other, inspire each other, share ideas, create allies… to acknowledge and bridge each groups’ efforts by sharing one large stage.
I think this has been an enormous success. I mean, OBVIOUSLY there will always be differences, but that’s also kind of the point. Vancouver has an astounding community that is extraordinarily diverse, yet it remains largely connected and supportive. It’s one of the biggest burlesque epicenters in THE WORLD, for eff’s sake. It rules. We know this.
Having said that, at some point I think it’s important to understand that the festival has another purpose, one that I would argue is now actually more important than trying to provide stage time for everyone. Because the truth is that most of us are getting some form of stage time out there at this point, and I mean veterans and newbies alike. Haven’t you noticed the influx of new productions, and regular monthly / weekly nights around the city? It’s insane (and amazing). Straight-up though, I think it’s pretty safe to say that if you put some reasonable effort into getting involved and learning the ropes, I’m pretty sure you can get yourself onto a stage. Which is truly fabulous. Productions and opportunities to get onstage aren’t lacking at all. What we really need to keep all these amazing productions going – and growing - are AUDIENCES.
The festival is a key opportunity to put collective energy into drawing NEW AUDIENCE MEMBERS to burlesque shows… people who have never seen any of us before. Total strangers. New ticket buyers. People who hit one show a year that we hope to turn into regular burlesque-goers. Because the more ticket-buyers to go around, the more shows keep getting to be produced, the more talent gets stage-time for (hopefully) better fees… and not to mention the less competitive we all need to be year-round in terms of promotion. And although our current crowds are so so crucial (and appreciated), I do believe that we need to sustain a genuine interest in burlesque that goes BEYOND our beloved friends, colleagues and current supporters. We need to draw from a bigger well. WE NEED MORE PEOPLE IN THOSE SEATS at every one of the productions in town. I really believe that THIS is what that will keep the scene alive, healthy and growing.
This is why we’re doing the night at the Vogue. It’s not just so we can all perform on a fancy stage. We made that choice because it’s in the MIDDLE of Vancouver’s major entertainment district and will draw major attention from tons of new people. And if we could afford to all three nights there, we would. Hopefully next year, we will be able to.
So think about it for a moment. Say we get a bunch of new people into this festival show (which we hopefully will because the theatre is MASSIVE and costs one billion dollars). These people don’t know us. They don’t care about the politics going on in our scene. They don’t care that so-and-so has been involved for this long or did this favour for so-and-so. They don’t get inside jokes, and they don’t know whether we have an absolutely 100% fair representation of each crew. They aren’t going to appreciate or understand why we would have super long sets of often VERY similar numbers in order to be inclusive to those who applied, and they are not impressed if they see a number that seems under-prepared. None of these things are going to to help us get them into burlesque show seats again. I’m being straight-up here. it’s not. People are picky and broke these days. They need more than that.
What WILL encourage new audiences to check out more shows is because they remember a good variety of quality acts for THE ENTIRE SHOW, feeling genuinely entertained, inspired, surprised and impressed. They want to feel like they got their money’s worth; that it wasn’t too long or repetitive, that preparation went into the pieces, that the vibe was great, the production smooth and that they had a great time. THIS is what will hopefully draw them back consider on a regular basis. Maybe year-round. Maybe to a show starring you.
So now hopefully it is starting to make sense why we are asking people to be specific about which exact numbers they want to do, submitting videos to gauge their capacity for preparation and professionalism, and who exactly they are planning to include with no substitution. Because at same time of tightening things up, we are also still trying to present a cross-section of troupes, performers and performance styles. SO maybe Dancer A & B both submitted amazing fan dances… but we only pick Dancer B because we know for sure that Dancer A is in a group number with her troupe. And so forth.
As for the cast number caps: this is HONESTLY based on safety standards and the need for smooth backstage production. The downstairs dressing rooms at the Rickshaw have been renovated and divided since last year. The Vogue’s dressing rooms are smaller still. These caps were not given to us as an option after last year. It is EXTREMELY unfortunate that this does not allow for the large group numbers as some troupes are accustomed to. I am honestly upset about this. Hopefully next year this can be considered and planned for by everyone. I sincerely apologize that more advance notice could not have been given around this. But that's just how it went down this year.
So. THAT’s the big picture. THAT’s why the focus of the festival is starting to go towards a tighter production AS WELL AS making efforts to represent all corners of the community. It’s about polishing up things up onstage and backstage, presenting a cross-section of our very best work, puffing up our feathers and saying to giant crowds of new people: Hey!!! Guess what? We’re strippers and freaks…. but we have actual entertainment value that's on par with going to the movies, theatre or concerts! Artistic merit! Political relevance even! WE DESERVE YOUR MONEY. Come back and give it to us, year-round, so we can keep doing this. And do it more. And make it better.
My longtime hope is that we all collectively continue to grow, and that we will steadily increase the visibility, representation, and integration of REAL grassroots burlesque groups in the mainstream media and entertainment industry. This I think would make many people very very happy. We need to represent, especially in the wake of so much hype and mis-understanding around what we do these days. And at the end of the day I really hope that for most of us, the burlesque movement isn’t just about each of us getting to dance around on a big stage so we can get clapped at. For me this is wayyyyy bigger than that. We have the power to change the way people look at women (predominantly although men too), at stripping & sexuality, at DIY culture. This is what drives me to do this still after all these years... because I see it happening. And it's astounding.
So yeah. I really hope that people understand that there is a method to the madness under all this. And if you were not selected to perform at an event this year, this DOES NOT MEAN you are not an important part of the community or that you are deliberately being snubbed. It doesn’t. AT ALL. Please try to remember the big picture and that (we hope) it is all part of our eventual WORLD DOMINATION. In banana suits. And ass tassels.
Ummkayy... it just feels wayyyy too fucking trivial to post my Shambhala blog while thousands scream so hard into the desert across the world. Sitting here in my happy little zebra print corner, tucked full of Nature's Path organic oatmeal, listening to carefully plucked pieces of the seventies... trying to decide when I've seen enough through the little magic screen on my lap. Such a precious princess. And everything through the angled window; the access to which I now suddenly notice I've been taking for granted.
I've turned the sub back onto the sound system that used to thump alongside my Ari Gold moments in Dollhouse's pink office. Usually I turn it off at night so the baby upstairs can sleep. Side note: I have this feeling that if I ever have a baby, she'll NEED bass waves to sleep. We'll have to put her across the house from the turntables so they can hit her properly. Dream.
That ol' inner conflict wails around inside me about social consciousness... you know. Hiphop, events, speech, existence. Usually the conflict doesn't get much air time. I start feeling around the darkness and then decide I don't like it. How bout we light it up with glitter and lasers and music instead? Yayyyy. It normally takes me about 5 minutes to reach this decision. Another convenient camouflage of the last little fibers of insecurity I feel around my profession; trying to fit them all into the solution somehow. It's like stuffing a headdress into a parachute bag.
What can I say? I'm a good time girl. A weapon of mass distraction. It's just what I'm best at. Or so voices tell me.
Back to the conflict. See? Distraction. I'm good at it ;) SO how conscious is conscious "enough"? Do I have to strip to stop the war or can I just be entertaining? Is escapism really senseless, or is escapism senseless just in excess?
I would argue the second on both counts. The thing is that when I hit the party, straight-up, I don't want anyone's morals shoved down my throat along with my pill and whiskey shot. I deal with everyone else's opinions all day, my whole life. And really - it's not like when I open my make-up case I suddenly forget that I'm alive.
I think that for me, sometimes I just want to be around people who know there's more to a person than what she presents in a pretty pink blog. That there's more to a person than a measure of one's met expectations. That there's also richness, thought patterns, feelings, contributions, reactions... sensitivity to pain and hunger. You know, like, humanity and stuff. Those basic universal aspects that make us just like everyone, everywhere.
And then I want to catch the eye of someone on the dance floor and acknowledge that the two of us are busy having one of those moments of freedom... physically, mentally, creatively... and that we are so so so so lucky. We are So. Fucking. Lucky.
I am so lucky.
It's not much to know I guess. But I'm conscious of it.
